Features by Type: Fiction
A Man of Forty
"Not bad...almost as good as new!"
Andy Pop Stories
The story that's never the same story twice!
Angst Among the Whores
One fine night in Nairobi...
Bitter war story from an unpopped balloon.
Busy Mr. Stupid
A very busy man does some very stupid things.
Count Dracula's Journal
Finally, Dracula gets to tell his side.
Doctor Schoneboom on the Campus
In which author John Baker carves out a new theatrical genre and his own immortal niche within it.
Dr. Bollocks' Guide to Impressive Sex
Special correspondent Dr. Anthony Bollocks offers his scientific insights on unseemly topics.
Dreams of Jimmy Bannon
Jimmy Bannon is back, and this time he's a character in a one-act play. Winner of the Massachusetts Cultural Council 2001 Fellowship Award for playwriting (yes, really).
Extracts from Mrs Poppycock's Diary, Part II
I says, bleeding hell I would've been better serviced by that nice young man down at the Building Society.
Extracts from Mrs. Poppycock's Diary
I says to our Regina, she's an arsehole, you'll never need ten rolls of paper for that room.
The second in the Bonkworld series of performance billiard poetry sees John go down in five pathos-laden games to his arch rival.
An early excerpt from the novel, featuring Admiral Fontoon and his continuing quest to get out of bed.
The night Hemingway was my roommate
Jarmusch Got My Robot
I'm telling you, the guy's been stalking me.
Jimmy Bannon Quote Generator
Random words of wisdom from the myth himself.
More Poetry of Meat Gizmo
More meaty stylings from the Gizmaster
The Baudelaire 7000 Poetry Machine
Not all randomly generated poetry is created equal.
The first installment of the Bonkworld performance billiard poetry series.
The Dream of Stickyman
He's a superhero; he's just not very strong. A sticky excerpt from the novel "Fontoon."
The Grumpy Giant
Yes, even giants have bad days...
The Incomprehensible Sportswriting of Jimmy Bannon
Breslin, Mailer, and their ilk couldn't carry this man's Olivetti. If you can figure out what he's on about, call the office.
The Poetry of Meat Gizmo
We dragged him out of the pool hall and beat him with flank steaks until he emitted poetry.
Vampiro, or, The Limits of Dogs
He was Romanian. He was drunk. He told this story.
Why We Lost
An all-purpose explanation that can be adapted for use wherever excuses are called for.
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29 July 2021: "It's the next day!"