John Schoneboom would like to tell you his feet are beautiful, but he'd be lying; there's some weird thing on one of his toes that started out as a blister. He's seeing the doctor on Monday.
Lately he's been whipping up a chocolate pudding almost every night. When he gets over that, it'll probably be cupcakes again. It's like, once he found out how easy it was to do it, it's actually harder not to.
He currently owns six pairs of eyeglasses because he finds it really difficult to throw any of them away. Also: too many underpants.
The following features bear John's insidious imprint: