John Schoneboom would like to tell you his feet are beautiful, but he'd be lying; there's some weird thing on one of his toes that started out as a blister. He's seeing the doctor on Monday.
One time a dentist said wow when looking in John's mouth. His teeth and breath were top drawer and his gums were absolutely stellar, but -- and John had not known this until that day -- the bony protuberances below his bottom teeth in the space below his tongue were highly unusual.
He currently owns six pairs of eyeglasses because he finds it really difficult to throw any of them away. Also: too many underpants.
The following features bear John's insidious imprint: