John Schoneboom is often asked by a particular six-year-old boy to provide quiz questions to relieve the monotony of a metro ride. As a result, Schoneboom studies, Schoneboom knows things. Alpha Centauri? 4.2 lightyears. And it's three stars, not one.
One time a dentist said wow when looking in John's mouth. His teeth and breath were top drawer and his gums were absolutely stellar, but -- and John had not known this until that day -- the bony protuberances below his bottom teeth in the space below his tongue were highly unusual.
Proudest accomplishment? Good at memorizing. He can quote you a lot of Bugs Bunny lines. I mean, a LOT of Bugs Bunny lines. You know what I'm saying?
The following features bear John's insidious imprint: