Mr. Schoneboom is probably best known as the Guinness world record holder for longest run in straight pool at 3,413 balls. Nah, not really. But now that it's been written down on the Interwebs, a lot of people will hopefully believe it.
Lately he's been whipping up a chocolate pudding almost every night. When he gets over that, it'll probably be cupcakes again. It's like, once he found out how easy it was to do it, it's actually harder not to.
These days he sometimes pretends to need a poo, just to have a few dependable minutes of peace and quiet to himself.
The following features bear John's insidious imprint: