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The Edifying Bonkworld Quote Machine

'This Stilettoed Eel is terrific,' said Chick. 'Where did you get the idea from?' 'Nicolas had it,' said Colin. 'There's an eel -- or there was an eel, rather -- that used to go into his wash-basin every day through the cold-water tap.' 'What a funny thing to do,' said Chick. 'Why did it do that?' 'It used to pop its head out and empty the toothpaste by squeezing the tube with its teeth. Nicolas only uses that American brand with the pineapple flavor, and I don't think it could resist the temptation.'

Boris Vian
Froth on the Daydream

And The Thrilling Audio Quote Machine