John Schoneboom is often asked by a particular six-year-old boy to provide quiz questions to relieve the monotony of a metro ride. As a result, Schoneboom studies, Schoneboom knows things. Alpha Centauri? 4.2 lightyears. And it's three stars, not one.
John recalls scratching his leg like mad all the way home from school one day, only to discover upon eventual trouser removal the shmeared remains of a whole cricket.
He currently owns six pairs of eyeglasses because he finds it really difficult to throw any of them away. Also: too many underpants.
The following features bear John's insidious imprint: