Mr. Schoneboom is probably best known as the Guinness world record holder for longest run in straight pool at 3,413 balls. Nah, not really. But now that it's been written down on the Interwebs, a lot of people will hopefully believe it.
Lately he's been whipping up a chocolate pudding almost every night. When he gets over that, it'll probably be cupcakes again. It's like, once he found out how easy it was to do it, it's actually harder not to.
He's sincerely apologetic about having ever hurt anyone's feelings, ever. If he had that to do over again, whatever it was, he'd be certain to go about it less stupidly and with a good deal more kindness.
The following features bear John's insidious imprint: