John Schoneboom would like to tell you his feet are beautiful, but he'd be lying; there's some weird thing on one of his toes that started out as a blister. He's seeing the doctor on Monday.
Most of the time John goes to great lengths to rescue household insects and put them outside. Still, once in a while it's like, screw it; he just squashes them. Then he feels bad and remembers the poor little guy for quite a while.
Proudest accomplishment? Good at memorizing. He can quote you a lot of Bugs Bunny lines. I mean, a LOT of Bugs Bunny lines. You know what I'm saying?
The following features bear John's insidious imprint: